Friday, March 20, 2015

They don't call it Friday the 13th for no good reason.

Cannot begin to count the number of F-Bombs I dropped one week ago today. It's not easy loading an old-school 36" 200 lb Sony Trinitron into the back of the truck, but my son, Morgan, and I did it. I've dropped other electronics off at the Buncombe County landfill's Electronics Recycling center. Open every Friday, they say:

From the Landfill website.

Looks like the 36" TV is giving a lecture to the underlings.

I took the day off of work to do this, because I had the massive TV, smaller TV, couple of old computer monitors (16" Gateway, and 20" Princeton), old computer,old printer, and an even older portable Black and White TV that was probably from the 1970s, and well, it's Friday, and according to the website they're open every Friday. I had to ratchet-strap the whole shebang down, and tarp it, because all loads to the landfill must be covered or be fined, and also because it was raining to beat the band.

I'd done everything right.

Drive to the landfill, get out to tell the guy behind the glass what I had in the truck bed, and he says:
"Electronics recycling isn't open today."
"We're only open every OTHER Friday during the Winter."
"It doesn't say that on your website. It says EVERY Friday."
"We'll, they're only open every OTHER Friday during the Winter. Here, here's a schedule," and he slides a piece of paper out through the little cash drawer under the window.
"You gotta be kidding?! I took a day off of work to haul this 200 pound TV here because your website says you're open EVERY Friday."
"Well, they're only open every OTHER Friday during the Winter. You should have called first."
I couldn't believe he said that. "MAYBE, you should update your website to say you're only open every OTHER Friday, since now I've taken a day off of work, and am going to have to turn around and come back NEXT Friday. Why would I think I have to call?"
"Sorry, Sir."

I turned my back to him and the F-Bombs started. I tried to get online with my iPhone to call up the Buncombe County Waste Disposal website and go back and show him the page, but the old 3G wasn't even getting -69G out there in the stix.

I texted my wife, Carol, to tell her what happened and dropped some more F-Bombs, much to her delight.

I went to the Handy Mart convenient store back in Weaverville to pick up a couple things, and was bitching to Sonny behind the counter about what had happened. Even asked him if he wanted a big busted TV. He wasn't having any of it. But the guy behind me in line said,
"Why don't you try the Mars Hill landfill. They take electronics every day."

He told me how to get there, since I'd never been before, and I started up I-26 the 6 miles to Mars Hill.

About 1.5 miles before the exit something in the rear-view mirror caught my eye. It was my tarp. It'd worked itself lose and was flapping like mad. More F-Bombs.

I pulled over into the breakdown lane just as it came totally lose and blew off, luckily, into the breakdown lane behind me. I got out, in the rain, and re-covered the mass of electronics and redid the straps. I crept up the road and then wound my way around 3 miles of backroad to get to the Mars Hill Landfill. Finally found the squatty little mud-covered collection of dumpsters, pulled in, got out.

The big burly Mars Hill Landfill watchdog came out:
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, a guy down the road said you guys recycle electronics. I have a BigAss™ TV and a couple of computer monitors."
"Do you have a card?"
"A Card?"
"Yeah, a card."
"Uh, what kind of card?"
"A trash card. You can't drop off without a trash card,"
"No, I don't have a trash card. How can I get one?"
"You buy or rent?"
"Buy or rent what, the trash?"
"I OWN."
"That's Buncombe. You'll have to take it to Buncombe Country Landfill."
"Can't take Buncombe recyclin' in Madison County."

More F-Bombs as I explained Buncombe's Every Friday - Every OTHER Friday, but this man had no sympathy. I took my wet, rained-on-ass back in my truck and crept home in defeat, but not without looking for a nice deep ditch I could back up to. Don't think I wasn't tempted. But, conscience-guy that I am, I came back home, backed the truck halfway into the garage, and unloaded all that shit where it'll sit until the correct Every OTHER Friday arrives. Guess I'm parking outside the garage this week.

But I'm having a beer, now.

Happy Friday the 13th.

No comments: